Living with Autism: A Parent's Perspective

I have a son named Connor
he’s not like you and me
when he was born he changed our life
in ways we couldn’t see

In his crib we hung up mobiles
he loved to watch them spin
but his cows never quite “jumped the moon”
as we sat and wondered when:

He would not communicate, or talk to us
we looked for any sign
but he didn’t progress in a “normal” way
he was “locked” inside his mind

And so began the visits
to the hospitals, and such
but when they came back they always said
“we can’t do very much”

So, special diets
and therapy we tried
to help our son in every way
as we sometimes sat and cried

He had no sense of danger,
could not tell right from wrong
he could not be left alone at all
we would watch him all day long

He would climb on tables and TV’s
would stand and reach from chairs
he was more adept at mountain skills
than he was on normal stairs

And if left alone in a yard or lot
he would just begin to go
there was nothing that would stop him
and he didn’t even know

Where he wanted to end up
it mattered not one bit
because hours and days could pass on end
before he chose to sit

He is now at a school
which is a very special place
where there are angelic saints who teach him
with care and gentle grace

Connor knows what he is saying,
he communicates by sign
he makes you understand him
it just takes a little time

We communicate by touching
there’s some things which give him calm
like running thread along his leg
or by massaging his little palm

He can’t play sports or army
and scouts and bikes won’t do
but there’s another world for kids like connor
that these people take them to

Its a place that lets them know
that they have ability and right
to participate in all we do
regardless of their plight

And while its hard on families
to care for kids like this
Connor has released me,
and has shown me what I missed

With my other kids I’d focus
on achievement and on grades
on pushing hard, cause it takes so much
to succeed in things these days

But Connor's goals are not the same
as they are for me and you
to watch him simply laugh and smile
he’s as happy as he can be

I go with him into his world
away from all the “stuff”
from the things that drive us crazy
which really is all fluff

He smiles and say's “I love you”
his way of saying thanks
“for doing this little thing with me”
he knows how much it takes

I think he knows more than he says
or can communicate to me
but if he wasn’t born this way
there’s a place I’d never see.

As parents of disabled kids
though hard beyond belief
they have a way of taking back
a small part of that grief

And God or nature works this way
by allowing us to deal
by finding something, however small
in a way to make us feel

That our efforts are not all in vain
that there really is a plan
that teaches us all to learn
“accept me as I am”

Though immune from all the problems
that most of us do face
he doesn’t care, he brings me there
to his special little place.