Living with Autism: A Parent's Perspective

“You can’t punish a child who is acting out because of sensory overload.”
by Temple Grandin

Temple Grandin is a great model of what a fully autistic person can achieve and this statement is totally correct. However this statement is also totally wrong.

That dilemma is caused by a multitude of factors and primary amongst those factors is are there other non autistic children in the family and how should that affect how you approach a given situation.

The issue that arises is that if you have a second (or third etc.) child that is not affected by autism or another behavioural disorder you then have to also deal with the fact that you have got to tread a fine line between treating two children differently for the exact same situation and you have to do it in such a way as to not breed resentment with the other children.

This results in having to occasionally discipline an autistic child for behaviours that you would prefer not to discipline them for simply to maintain a level of cohesion between the children. It also means that there are times when you have to step back from disciplining a non autistic child for the same reason.  If you add into the mix an infant that gets laughs for behaviours that would be disciplined in an older child then the balancing act becomes even more restrictive.

Deflection is the best tool when dealing with our autistic child,  however this is something that is difficult to teach a second young child to utilize effectively regardless how helpful they endeavour to be sometimes this is not easily understood and sometimes it is extremely difficult under a given circumstance.

Parents of autistic children who have other non developmentally challenged children have a very fine line to walk in the effort to bring out the best that ALL their children have to offer.  It is a fine line and one that takes lots of practice and lots of patience but the joy of watching your children move beyond their limitations (and yours) makes the effort well worth the time and effort spent.

While many families of Autistic children spend months preparing their children for Christmas we do not have this issue. However our son does have issues when dealing with Christmas activities that do require careful handling.

For instance for many years my mother has on boxing day held a family meal which has grown to include as many as 20+ individuals and our son tends to not eat during these meals as there is just to much stimulus involved to allow him the comfort he requires for his meal. This year due to age and volume of individuals my mother has scaled back her meals to include one child’s family at a time drastically reducing the number of people involved. Interestingly enough our son still chose not to eat so even that did not reduce the stimulus enough to allow him comfort. On a side note even at home for our Christmas dinner he did not eat as well as he normally would so the simple break in routine of how the meal is handled could be enough to upset his equilibrium around the meal.

What was interesting is the presents. For the first year our son actively involved himself in opening his presents (at least up till he reached a toy that took his concentration away and he stopped anything else to play with it) Our son was definitely enjoying his new toys and participated well in the general Christmas activities we normal do like waiting till my parents arrive to open presents and actively participating in the gift opening. He also constantly presented my father with his gifts to be taken out of the box and did try several toys until he found the one we tried to keep to the bottom of the pile (Leapster explorer was a toy we were well aware he was interested in due to his internet activity of late) and he opened all his presents till he got to it.

Interesting different thing that did occur during the day was that about halfway through the day for some reason he seemed to get overstimulated to the point where he was finding it difficult to cope. Rather then strike out (as he is quite capable of doing) he walked off and went upstairs to our room and sat in the dark with the lights off and the blinds down (quietly still playing his game but away from all the bustle of the house) he chose to do this several times during the day leading us to believe that he can be well aware of when he is getting overstimulated and is quite willing to take himself away from the situation when necessary. It will be interesting to see if this behaviour continues through the year.

All in all this was another good Christmas. Our children were extremely happy with their gifts (though our 19mth old believes that her siblings explorers are hers and we may need to introduce them two years early to her) and our family did not incur debt to give them a decent Christmas. While the blog has suffered a bit due to time spent working and shopping to make their Christmas memorable I am able to sufficiently say in the aftermath that it was well worth the effort and we are all pleased with our successes during this busy time of year.

Now I have always personally liked the concept of natural medicine. Especially Eastern medicines that are designed around specific formulations based on individual requirements and body compatibility.

That said I am also sceptical when looking at claims for natural medicines that promise to cure everything from warts to cancer and every other type of illness. The reason in my mind is that if it was that effective would it not be the standard norm of cures. Or would it. Is it possible that the profits of the large pharmaceuticals would so override the humanity of the cures that they would be buried. It is possible and is an interesting perception.

That said when I look at autism and supposed cures I have to look at it with a jaundiced eye as well as a healthy dose of thought and common sense.

Over various researches and testing there have been many different “causes” of autism found. Most involving a small portion of autistic cases but one interesting factor is that if taken at face value it could be said that there are many multiple causes of autism.

While I believe this lends support for the clarification of various forms of autism (similar to perhaps differentiating between different types of cancer) it also leads to the possibility that there could also be various cures that would affect different sectors of the autistic community in different ways.

Take for example the number of parents who have used a gluten free diet with varying forms of success, from no change to improvement in abilities and on to an apparent cure. The same has been found with chelation therapy.

Now there are groups that say if a person is “cured” using this method then they were never actually “autistic” but I am not convinced that is necessarily the case. If it is accurate that there are many differing causes to autism then it should also stand to reason that there could realistically be various forms of cures and that each cause and cure could be correlated.  With varying levels of autism and the clinical diagnoses being based on a set of conditions rather then a testable and provable existence like that found in cancer it is quite possible that these “set of conditions” could be brought on in various different patients in different manners therefore leading to various different cures.

Now I don't have a specific “cure” that I am touting I am simply questioning if the rush to cast doubts on various “cures” or “diagnoses is actually the best use of our time. If any specific cure works for any specific individual then that cure should be lauded. Not as a cure all but as a new possibility that may actually be helpful in a group of individuals that are affected in exactly the same way.

Research is definitely needed to see if this is a possibility and as always I am a strong proponent to more and more research being done to allow our children and our future generations the best possibilities to meet the most of their potential.